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Teach Others What You’ve Decided To Accept

Posted by terrepruitt on December 4, 2014

Someone posted this on Facebook. I agree with it.  I do feel that people need to set boundaries.  I think that sometimes people drain themselves or let others drain them (of time and energy) and don’t take the time to recharge or rejuvenate.  I think that sometimes situations like that can lead to “hard feelings” and resentment.  Not all the time, but sometimes.  I have seen relationships crumble because one person takes advantage of the other, but the one that was taken advantage of allowed it to happen.  Of course, when I see something I like, like this meme, and I want to use it as a spark for a post on my blog I want to give credit for the person that created it.  I appreciate it when all the information is there so it is easy to find the originator.  This woman, Anna Taylor, has an interesting story.  She is an international recording artist, a singer-songwriter, and speaker and radio host among other things.  You can hear her sing and check out her story on her site (click here).  I have seen this saying — or ones like it before, but this one ended up on my Facebook feed at a time when I was thinking the same thing so I save it for a future post.  Today is the day.

Dance Exercise, Nia, Nia at the City of San Jose, Nia classes in the South Bay, Nia Teacher, Nia Class, San Jose Nia, Nia San Jose, Nia workout, Nia, Zumba, PiYo, Gentle Yoga, Group Ex City of San Jose, San Jose Group Ex classes, YMCAOf course, everyone’s boundaries are different and there are different boundaries for different people, but I think it is important to set them and have them.  At times they can even flex and move, but that should be up to you.  Then it really is up to you, as the person setting, the boundaries to make sure that they are clear to the people you are dealing with.  If they don’t know what they are it is easy for them to disrespect them.

I feel as if some people don’t respect their own time and energy so then others don’t either.  That is a lesson taught and a lesson learned.  I think sometimes people are also afraid to say “No,” for whatever reason . . . perhaps they don’t want the person asking to “not like them” or the person asking is family so there is an implied obligation . . . or it goes back to the person being asked just doesn’t respect or maybe even feel worthy of time to themselves.  I don’t know . . . it is all very personal.

I just like to be the one that supports people when they share with me that they feel bad, but they just had to say no to whomever because “they just couldn’t do it”.  Then they go on to explain how it would cause them stress. Sometimes you just have to say no.  Sometimes there are already too many obligations on the schedule.  It is ok to say no.

Love yourself, respect yourself.  Understand that your time and energy are precious.  Especially this time of year when there are so many things pulling us in so many directions.  It is GREAT to say no to something so you can sit on the couch with your family and a mug of hot chocolate.  Or whatever . . . remember . . . you get to choose.  And you teach people by your choices.

Does it seem as if this time of year the demand on your time and energy is greater than all year long?

8 Responses to “Teach Others What You’ve Decided To Accept”

  1. Amen, Sister-friend! I’m getting better at this, but it’s still hard for me.


    • 🙂 Yes, just like a lot of things it can take practice. 🙂 Another thing that is somewhat of a companion to saying no (and it takes practice too), is not making excuses, just saying no should be enough. If the boundaries are set then just saying “No” – with no excuses – go hand-in-hand.

      Liked by 1 person

      • That makes a lot of sense to me. No – with no excuses. 50 years old, and I’m just now learning some of these things. This year has been good for me in finally setting some boundaries.
        You always have such good healthy posts for mind and body…


        • It is not always easy just to politely say no. I think we are taught to make excuses under the guise of not hurting someone’s feelings, but often times excuses are not honest and in the long run it can end up hurting someone more than just saying no. REASONS are not excuses. But again, sometimes people think reasons will hurt people feelings. “No, I can’t make it because I need to rest and be with my family.” Some people might push on that, because they don’t think “resting” is a good reason for you to miss their event or not do what they want. But again . . . if they know your acceptable “stuff” then they will accept that reason better.

          Thanks, I work hard to post stuff to help us stay well. Not all of it is healthy (cookies made of cake mix?).

          I enjoy your posts!

          Liked by 1 person

  2. I am a newcomer to saying no. As a people pleaser most of my life, I’ve finally grown into a sense of security that allows me to just say no. I still often throw in an excuse (practice practice practice). It was just yesterday when a neighbor tried to stop me in the hall… I was running late to get my kids — she said, “do you have a minute.” I said “no.” Normally I would’ve stopped. Then I’d have been late to get my kids. Perhaps a post on time management would serve me well 🙂


    • As a “people pleaser” that says yes, didn’t you find yourself disappointing people when a multiple people made demands on your time? I knew someone who would never say no so his commitments always were more than time would allow . . . . so he would end up disappointing a lot of people because he just couldn’t be two places at once.

      If you had said, “No, I am on my way to get the kids.” That is not an excuse, that is a valid reason. But if you DID have a minute, but you didn’t really want to talk to her . . . then giving a “reason” would have been an excuse.

      I think your list of 4 ways to click is sort of “time management” . . . 🙂


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