I had started a post telling the story of my mom’s last few years but then I had to go be with her. It was the first half of Deciding On Death. I was trying to finish it today, but I have to go. I have to get to her.
I realized as I was typing the title Deciding On Death that it might make people think my mom decided to die instead of stay alive. But that really was not the case earlier this week. She was told by the doctors that she had to pick the day. So a more accurate title would have been Deciding Which Day To Die.
Anyway . . . you might be wondering how I can be thinking about a Goodie Jar when faced with this awful thing. Well, I will tell you. First of all everyone deals with death differently. I’ve know this, but I very much experienced when my mother-in-law died. We all have our own way.
The way we are having to go through this is really awful and hard, but death is a part of life. We all die. Period. There is no getting around that.
For me, I have faith. I have faith in a plan, I have faith in an after life, I have faith in God. My mom, is really strong and is just being amazing . . . . she is helping us through this. I am also keeping really busy. I have also turned to my social network. I have an idea that when a loved one dies most people want to shout it out, most people want the world to know their pain — for whatever reason —- and I wanted to shout it out, so I did. And let me tell you, best thing I did! BEST. THING.
At one moment I was peaceful. Then someone shared an issue with me and wanted me to deal with it — even though it was not MY issue it was theirs and someone else’s — and that raised my stress level. Then I looked at my phone and saw an unfamiliar number. I thought it was a sales call but decided to listen to it anyway. And — SNAP! — Right then and there two seconds after I heard the voice and Jill announced her name, I was calmed. I was FILLED to the brim with joy. She has a beautiful voice and I had NEVER HEARD IT BEFORE. Her voice calmed me. Her words filled me. I am loved. I am supported. I said to myself, “HECK YEAH!” Because I had hesitated before I posted and then — BAM! — right away, the return was fabulous. I was transported into a good place.
And it is continuing to come. I am getting love, support, all the sparkles I asked for. I am getting stories about my mom. Stuff I didn’t know that is really cool to know. I just commented on my blog post to someone, “I guess they don’t call it support for nothing! ;-)”
So, remember all this time I have been telling you that the Goodie Jar is to remind us to take a moment to look at the good even though there is “other stuff”. Yeah, I wasn’t just blowing smoke people. There is ALWAYS good. And — for me, I am not saying that anyone else has to do this, this is ME, for me, myself and I — I HAVE to look at the good. I have to focus on the positive otherwise you would need a huge SHAM-WOW to mop up a huge Terre-size puddle that was on the floor!
So everyone of you that has taken time to share a story, send uber goodness at me and my family — YOU are all going in my Goodie Jar! I am ready to transfer to a bigger container now. Thank you.
(Monday, March 31, 2014, 1:00 pm)
What are YOU putting in your Goodie Jar?
PS – I reserve the right to become a puddle. 🙂
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