Vase Are Like That, Ya Know?
Posted by terrepruitt on April 27, 2010
My husband broke a vase last night. As he first starts to read this he probably won’t be too happy because this post might appear to be about him and this blog was not supposed to be about us, it is supposed to be about Nia, and health, fitness, and nutrition. I have noticed that my posts that are strictly about exercises and working out don’t get as much traffic as the ones that are about life’s situations. There are so many sites and blogs about ways to exercise and workouts to do, so I am thinking I will do more posts about situations that connect to health and wellness, like this one. It is not about my husband, but about me and how I feel I have progressed to assist with my own wellness.
Used to be a broken vase would greatly upset me, but I think of myself as getting better with stuff like that. He was in a hurry and was doing something nice for me (very nice*) and he accidentally knocked a vase down. Oh well. I sighed. I was sad for a moment. He even said, “Vases are like that, ya know? They break.” Which is true and truly funny at the same time. But for me, just going on with the evening is different than I used to be about a decade ago. I am a “stuff” person so I used to lament over broken things. Sometimes I do a little still, but I am learning—still.
I was wondering what to write today when I was rushing around trying to bake some banana bread for a friend who donated to my MS Walk. Guess what I did? I broke a vase. I laughed. Then I was sad. But then I was happy because, “Vases are like that, ya know? They break.”
I know that often times it is so much healthier to let things go, but honestly it is not always easy. Once upon a time I would have been so upset about the vase last night that I would have allowed it to ruin the evening. Because accidents seem to happen when people are rushed (see the first sentence in this paragraph). If I would have had a fit last night I would have ruined the evening AND had a totally impossible time dealing with the vase I broke today. It would have been, “What? It’s not ok for my hubby to break a vase, but when I do it, oh well?” Yeah, right. And we were both trying to do something for someone else.
So . . . . sigh. I feel so much better that I had a nice evening last night with my hubby. I will also be able to have a nice evening tonight too because he will just be able to tease me about breaking a vase, but I won’t be apologize because I was a jerk when he broke one. So instead of getting upset (over something that really is not worth getting upset over) I let it go which actually helped me health-wise because I didn’t have a ball of anger inside. That helped keep the evening open so that we could have a nice evening. I am not worrying about how I am going to explain to him that I can break a vase and he can’t.
Being able to let things go and just move on away from it is a good thing sometimes. Because really in life vases ARE like that, ya know? They DO break.
*This is what my husband was doing when the vase broke. He had gone outside in our yard and cut some flowers for me. Usually he just gives them to me to put in vases, but I was busy cooking so he was being super nice and putting them in vases too. Sometimes life it like that too, homegrown freshcut flowers brought to you by your love.
Terre Pruitt's Blog 
niachick said
Wow, Terre. I love this!!!! “Vases are like that, ya know?” And they can be replaced. And I so enjoyed reading the WHOLE blog, but in particular the part where you mentioned that you found people more interested in not only Nia, exercise and nutrition (which is the main focus of your blog) but on you and your life.
I remember a time in my life when I used to get emotionally involved with the breaking of a vase (afterall it WAS my favorite vase) and how silly it is to waste one’s energy on something that could be so easily replaced. I’ve learned (and am still learning) through my 59 years of life on this earth to be thankful for ALL things that happen. A broken vase could indicate stress — what was I doing when I broke the vase? Obviously I wasn’t focused, perhaps moving too quickly…or perhaps I was angry and just wasn’t paying attention.
The “vases are like that, ya know” is validation that there are more important things in life — like Nia, exercise and nutrition!!! Perfect blend of your life and the focus of your blog, Terre. I commend you.
And another word about broken vases…there was a true story I read several years ago about a psychologist who was working with a very angry, schizophrenic patient. She used “art therapy” to get to the root of his problem. After several years of therapy, the man moved on, seemingly “cured”. He showed up at her office one day and asked if she still had his artwork in her files. She did. He asked if he could see it. She brought the artwork out, he flipped through it until he found a particular piece — it was of a vase. He told her that this particular drawing was not finished and asked if he could finish it in her office. Being quite interested in what it was he wanted to do, she agreed. She brought out the crayons. The vase had been drawn at a turning point in his therapy. He was angry the day that he drew it. It was a vase colored with heavy black crayon. He had left a small sliver down the entire length of the vase with the intention of creating a “crack” in the vase. He looked at the drawing now and told her that when he drew the vase he felt that his life was shattered, that he was not whole. He wanted to finish the drawing. He took a yellow crayon and drew rays of light beaming out through the crack in the vase. He gave the finished drawing to her, pointed to the crack and the rays of light coming through it and said “the cracks are where the healing starts.”
Your blog about the broken vase reminded me of this story. Healing starts from within and it is through our “cracks” and seeming imperfections, our sorrow and our pain that the healing shines through.
Vases are like that, ya know? A little bit like life itself.
Give your hubby a hug for me…and give yourself an even bigger one.
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terrepruitt said
Yay, I am so glad you love it. I ALWAYS think of you when I write a post. I always look forward to your comments and your stories.
I do still tend to get upset sometimes when I attach special meaning to something. And I also tend to still get upset when the reason the item got broken or ruined is invalid to me . . . . for instance if I would have been horsing around or doing something I really shouldn’t have been doing, I would have a tendancy to get more upset because I “shouldn’t have been” and now I’ve ruined something. It seems different to me when things get broken or ruined on accident. I am learning to get better about all of it because most things can be replaced.
I loved that story. Thank you for sharing, I got chills. That is fabulous.
HUGS all around. Thanks!
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John Pruitt said
You weren’t a jerk. And other than the one beautiful vase we used to have that I also think I broke, I don’t really care enough about the vases to give them more than 2 minutes of my concern when I break one. Sooner or later, that’s what they are for and that’s where they are going. It’s the circle of glass.
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terrepruitt said
Exactly, I wasn’t a jerk. In fact by the time I sat down to eat I had forgotten about it. I had forgotten about it completely until the next day when I placed the sugar canister exactly on the same spot another vase was and heard it go “chink”. That is when I was sad because I liked that vase more than the one you chiped (by the way, I have put those little ones in the dishwasher so much they are all chipped anyway), and that is when I remembered you saying, “Vases are like that, ya know? They break.” (Stiil makes me laugh!).
I was thinking about the vase that was a wedding gift that got broken when I wrote this. I TOTALLY loved that vase — you did too — we used it all the time. That one had very special memories attached to it and that is one thing I refer back to when things happen and I try not to act out my “upsettedness”. I was upset when that broke because it was sad, but I know it was an accident and me having a fit was not going to change anything AND — on top of it all — you were just as upset as I was. So that is one time I really just let it go. Because it was an accident, we were both upset and nothing good could have come out of a hissy fit.
And yes, Honey, you are so wise, that is “the cirlce of glass.”
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michele said
Pretty flowers! Great life story…love it. I am also getting better about “stuff” getting broken – because it seems that kids break stuff…often!
“The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others so.”
-Robert Ingersoll
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terrepruitt said
Awesome.
Thanks!
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suzicate said
Excellent post.”Vases are like that, ya know” – gotta remember that one! I find that I often get attached to “things” and get upset if something happens to them. the reason I get attached to things is because of the memory of someone behind the “thing”…I sometimes have to refocus and remember that it is the “someone” that is important and not the “something”…things can be replaced but not people, and I don’t need the item when I have memory. Point is your post resonated with me. BTW, your hubby is a sweetie! You guys compliment one another.
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terrepruitt said
Funny and true, huh? “Vases are like that, ya know? They break.” Too funny. At the time I didn’t really think it was funny, but I understood what he was saying.
Yeah, I am the same way, it is the memory attachment to the thing. Plus sometimes it is something that I use a lot—hence the breaking. 🙂
I felt I could share this because I know I am not the only one that sometimes has to let go and move on. Thank you for saying it resonated with you.
And, yes, SC, I have to agree, my hubby IS a sweetie. I like to think we compliment each other. (Thank you.)
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