Well, I didn’t want to turn this into a blog about death, but I have so many wonderful people asking me what is going on it is just so much more efficient for me to write it out. It saves time and heartache . . . I can just give one update and then point people to this. I don’t have to keep repeating myself. This is turning out not at all how we were told it would turn out. Which is really starting to annoy me because with everything that is now happening the medical staff is saying, “Oh that happens, sometimes.” Really? Well, no one told us that all this stuff might happen.
My mom has cancer. The size of her trachea has been reduced due to the cancer. The thought was that it would be reduced and damaged even further by the tube’s insertion and extubation. She had a tube in her throat for 10 days. The tube was connected to a ventilator but it was rarely breathing for her. For most of the 10 days she was breathing on her own, but the medical professionals felt that she would not be able to breathe without the tube. So when they told her she needed to pick a day on which they removed it the feelings were that not long after that she would die. But that has not been the case. The tube was removed at 2:28 pm on Monday, March 31, 2014 and she is still breathing on her own, today is Thursday, April 3, 2014.
Some of the “stuff” we were not aware of that could happen, the stuff my dad keeps being told sometimes happens is she is waking up. She wakes up and talks to him. One time it was for two hours (I think that was Wednesday). The nurses say she talks to them. She responds to inquiries about specific meds. She says thank you when then rearrange her. Her brain is not damaged nor is she in a coma, so she wakes up.
She is not hooked up to anything, but an IV for fluids. She gets fluids and meds. But she is wasting away . . . as happens to a body that does not get food after six days. A slow drawn out death.
I didn’t know that she would wake up and have moments of lucid consciousness. I thought the drugs they administer would keep her unconscious. So I am kind of annoyed that I am missing it. But at the same time I was happy that it was a couple of hours that my dad was able to spend with her. Alone. She was sad that they didn’t make it to their 50th wedding anniversary. That would have been 2015. There are many other things she was sad about but that was one thing she shared. I came home because I was under the impression that it would not go on this long. I was also under the impression that she would just sleep until the end.
Everyone copes differently . . . some of us continue on with our lives while other shut down. Shutting themselves away to wallow in sorrow. How people cope is a personal thing. Neither is right or wrong . . . it is just how we deal. I have been lifted up by teaching my classes and moving. My Nia students care and are supporting me. One of my yoga classes, the students don’t know. In one class where I was just subbing they didn’t know, but the peace and serenity in which they practiced REALLY helped me. It was so lovely to see their faces while they held their poses.
If it is not too much trouble, please keep your prayers and positive thoughts coming. They really are a source of strength to me.
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Terre Pruitt's Blog 