Terre Pruitt's Blog

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Posts Tagged ‘angels’

My Assignment As A Cat Is Now Done

Posted by terrepruitt on July 10, 2014

Dance Exercise, Nia, Nia at the City of San Jose, Nia classes in the South Bay, Nia Teacher, Nia Class, San Jose Nia, Nia San Jose, Nia workout, Nia, Zumba, PiYo, Gentle YogaThanks, God.  I had a good time.  Those last few days were rough and my mama feels really bad, but they are over now.  Hopefully she can forgive herself.  I know that was one of the lessons I was there to help her learn.  Forgiveness.  I think I did ok, not that she got it, but I was good at it, right, God?  I didn’t hold a grudge like I hear a lot of cats do.  When my parents came home after being gone I would try to do the “catly” thing and give them an attitude.  I would be at the door waiting, then when I got picked up I would strain to get away, but I just couldn’t keep it up for more than a minute.  I was always so excited they came back.  And when I got scolded for doing something I just couldn’t help myself from doing, I would often be the one to go get my mama after a short while.  I did ok, right?  I do have to say, I love my wings, but I kinda miss that short tail you gave me.  I never quite understood my mom’s fascination with my paws though.  She used to hold them and stare at them. She would squeal, “Pink toes!  Pink toes!  Pink toes!”  And sometimes hold my feet saying, “Your paws are so TINY!!!”  I guess I was smaller than a lot of cats.  But I was a fierce protector of my house, my yard, and my people!  So really I wasn’t all that small.

I really had no idea what I was in for when you asked for volunteers.  I understand that being an angel is forever and forever is a long time, so I figured an assignment would be interesting.  I had heard that it could be risky because once one volunteers it is up to you, God, to place us and sometimes the placement might be really difficult.  I know that not all angels get good homes and loving families.  So I really, really appreciate you sending me to my family.  I know I was sent to teach them and like I said, I think I did a good job.  I hope you agree.  I know they loved me with all of their hearts.  I know my mama thought I was the best kitty in the universe because she told me every single day.  And I heard her thank you for me all the time.  I heard her say I was a gift from you.  I know I was special because they treated me that way.

But, God, I am afraid I didn’t teach her all she needs to learn.  I think I left too early.  I know they were hoping I would be around for longer.  I know she still needs me.  She always gave me hugs, but lately she would give me hugs when she was sad and missed her mama.  Who is she gonna hug now, God?  Are you sure she will be ok?

I might be back to my angel form now, God, but I still have some of that cat stubbornness inside.  I want to see my mama.  I want to make sure her and my poppie are ok.  Can I see them, God, please?

Well, it is really hard to see them cry.  Can’t I let them know I am ok?

Oh, I do see that even though I am not there, my mom is still learning.  Through my death she is learning to be a little bit more compassionate.  My poppie didn’t need to learn the same stuff my mom did.

God, one more thing — for now — will they recognize me when they get here even though I don’t have my tiny paws or short tail.  Will they know it’s me?  I sure would love more belly rubs from my poppie.  I loved all the kisses my mom gave me.  Even though she gave me hundreds and hundreds every day . . . . it really doesn’t seem like enough now.  If I walk around her in a circle she might get the clue that it is me.  Then she can give my head more kisses.  Is that how it works, God?

My not being there seems to make her more sad about the deaths that have happened in her family this year.  (Sigh.)  Ok, God, thanks.  I am done looking now.  I will just trust you and your plan.  I do miss ’em though.  Thanks, again.  I love them as much as they loved me.

Posted in Cats, Spot | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments »

Deciding On Death

Posted by terrepruitt on March 27, 2014

So, I am experiencing one of the oddest situations we have created for ourselves in the world of modern medicine and technology.  I am sitting with my mother waiting for her scheduled time to die.  I am starting this story for you a little bit backwards, because Tuesday I didn’t have a chance to post.  My mother has been sick for a bit and I have been wanting to write about it.  I wanted to share plus I am surprised to find it is a bit therapeutic.  But I always thought I should ask her before I posted something, but now I feel it is past that point.  I came up to be with her on Monday for the day for what we thought would be a procedure that would get her back out in the world and home.  But it turned out that the doctors decided that the procedure would be too risky AND it wouldn’t really give us much more time.  So they advised us to decide when they should remove the breathing tube that is keeping her breathing.

My mother is fully conscious.  She has cancer that has affected her throat so she has not been able to eat for probably about a year and a half.  She has not been able to swallow well for about eleven months.  She’s been spitting into a cup and used a feeding tube.  As I said I am telling this story a bit backwards, I will do another post regarding how this all started.  I thought I would have time on Tuesday after my Nia class and Yoga Class to type up the beginning of the story so you could get a glimpse of how much she has been through and to end up here is just — I have no words.  I started to type it but I didn’t finish and ended up not posting on Tuesday.

MachinesThe cancer has spread to a point that is has basically mangled her trachea.  She was in Reno on Friday and in the hospital with a tube in her throat Sunday morning.  The tube is a small one they use on pediatric patients.  That is the only size they could get down there and it was a struggle at that.  One is not meant to live like that.  The body will keep fighting it and trying to reject it.  And with her body it is really going to try to fight it because her body has already had a severely compromised immune system.  So a breathing tube — especially one meant for children — is not a long term solution.

When the tube was placed in her throat the idea was that it was going to be temporary — she was in the emergency room on Saturday and the tube was placed in during the wee hours of Sunday morning.  The hope was they could put in a stent on Monday.  Then, the thought was things could proceed a bit more.  There was talk of additional chemotherapy and maybe even more radiation.  But the team of doctors met and they were not optimistic.  The doctor that would be performing the surgery was very frank and honest in talking to us about the procedure and the miracle that he would have to perform.  He said he would do it if my mom said yes.  But with the facts in front of her she decided not to have it done.

So then her next decision was when to have the doctors remove the breathing tube, the one that is keeping her alive.  What kind of decision is that to have to make?  I am still just having the most difficult time with someone having to be faced with that decision.  Living with a breathing tube that is so small you can hardly get any air and that has to be cleaned out all the time is not for the weak.  She can’t talk, she can’t laugh, she can’t cough, and she can’t cry.  That is probably the worst part.  She can’t cry.  The pain is too horrible.  She has much to grieve for and she can’t cry.

This is just crazy.  I am at a loss.  I am putting it down because I have to get it out.  I am not ready to cry yet because I am pretty sure I won’t stop or maybe I am still just in shock.  I had an entirely different picture of what was going on.

We are visiting as much as we can.  Friends and family are visiting.  She is communicating by writing.  Sometimes she uses a little white board and sometimes she uses paper.  We are not so great at guessing what she is trying to say, so she patiently writes it down for us.  She also still has her sense of humor.  She is funny.

I have found that the outpouring of love from people is really up lifting and very helpful.  I have vaguely mentioned on Facebook that my mom was ill and many people have responded with positive thoughts and mentions of prayers.  It really is  helpful — all of it.  To know that people are out there doing what they do when they want to support someone in need is amazing.  So I am posting this to help shed some light on my vagueness and to give some of the people who are supporting me (and my family) some idea of what is going on.

Now the big thing.  The big bad.  The ugly.  The most important thing . . . . the hardest thing . . . the thing I am typing blindly (I can’t see through tears). . . . can you take a moment out of your day (I know I am asking a lot) on Monday, March 31, 2014 at 1:00 pm to help her on her way?  She is a strong, strong woman.  A woman who has a lot to live for so letting go might be really difficult for her to do.  If there were thoughts and prayers and vibes and ju-ju and love and songs and dances and lights and sparkly stuff to help her let go . . . to help her on the path to the next journey–that would be awesome.  The angels will be there too, but I am sure she would love the additional stuff — she always loves a party.  Would you do that?

Thanks.

 

Posted in Diane Bacho | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 48 Comments »

Snowmen and Joy of the Season!

Posted by terrepruitt on December 24, 2011

Dance Exercise, Nia San Jose, Nia Campbell, San Jose Nia, Campbell Nia, San Jose Dance Workout, Campbell Dance Workout, Nia Teacher, Nia Class, San Jose Nia, Nia San Jose, Nia workout, Nia, Christimas DecorationsIt is Christmas Eve and while I never really take time off from Nia and being self-employed, I am posting about decorations again.  Another post inspired by yet another blog friend. My friend shared her snowmen with us on her blog and I told her I wanted to share ours.  I wasn’t sure how, but I took pictures anyway.  I was just going to e-mail them to her, but then I thought I should just post them on Facebook.  But then I decided that snowmen would be a nice little Christmas Eve post.  Some of my favorite decorations that we have are snowmen.  We have one set in particular that I always receive compliments on.  They were our first set and they are simple and sweet.  They always go in the same place every year.  Some of our other snowmen migrate around the house.  Sometimes I forget where I put what so things are not always the same.  But these ones always go in the same spot — basically.  They might end up on the left or the right or the center, but they are always on the same shelf.

So funny . . . now that I am actually looking at them while cropping the picture, they aren’t really even snowmen, are they?  They were labeled snowmen when I bought them (I think) so I think of them as the family of snowmen.  Well, whatever they are they are cute and sparkly!
Dance Exercise, Nia San Jose, Nia Campbell, San Jose Nia, Campbell Nia, San Jose Dance Workout, Campbell Dance Workout
You might notice that a few of our snowmen are snow angels.  I really like that.  They are so cute.  I actually didn’t put up a set of our hanging snow angels.    I didn’t put up a lot this year.  When I was decorating I allowed the fact that our tree was dead three days after we bought it to put a damper on my Christmas decorating spirit.  I didn’t put as many ornaments on the tree as usual because the more it was touched the more the needles just fell off.  I was afraid it wouldn’t last until Christmas.  With this being our first Holiday Season without John’s mom, the whole tree thing made me sad.  Then since we weren’t going to have anyone over during the Holidays I decided the less I put up, the less I will have to clean around and the less I will have to take down.  I do have a goal of “Christmas everywhere you look” so I did that, it is just not as much as usual.  But it is just fine.  I do “tests” and turn my head this way and that, and YUP! still Christmas wherever I look so it’s grand!

There are snowmen in various spots of the house.  I believe last year these (the ones directly to the left, pictured in front of the sleigh) were our latest addition.  I do not collect snowmen, nor do I particularly fancy them, there are just some that I see and I like.  But I don’t like all snowmen.  I like sparkle, glitter, shine, and blue.  So I really love that they make so many Chanukah decorations because the color scheme for that seems to be blue!   So yay, more blue!

Do you decorate for Christmas?  Or for the Holidays that you and your family celebrate?

I wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and peace and joy throughout the year!Dance Exercise, Nia San Jose, Nia Campbell, San Jose Nia, Campbell Nia, San Jose Dance Workout, Campbell Dance Workout

Posted in Misc | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments »