Terre Pruitt's Blog

In the realm of health, wellness, fitness, and the like, or whatever inspires me.

  • I teach Nia, yoga and stretch!

    Nia: Thurs at 9 am

    Yin Yoga: Mons at 11:30 am

    Gentle Yoga: Tues at 10:30 am and Thurs at 6:00 pm

    Stretch: Thurs at 10:30 am

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Posts Tagged ‘listen with love’

Don’t Get Confused, I Am In Control

Posted by terrepruitt on January 28, 2014

Have you seen the meme that says “Don’t get confused between my personality and my attitude.  My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are.”?  I see it on Facebook a lot.  When I first saw it I agreed with it.  I laughed and thought, “Oh yeah.  I can see that.”   I am going through my day and encounter someone who is being an ass and I give some grump right back at them.  But I saw it again yesterday and I realized I don’t agree with it.  While there might be confusion between personality and attitude, I still am in control of both of mine.  I realized that my attitude is a reflection of my personality and I don’t want to be an ass.  I especially don’t want to be grumpy just because the person I am dealing with is grumpy.  I don’t know their story.  I have no idea what is going on in their life.  I am not saying that it is right for them to treat me poorly because they have “stuff” going on, but it does happen.  People get distracted and caught up, but that does not mean I have to get caught up in that.  I am in control of both my personality AND my attitude.

I am still the one that has a say.  My attitude is still in my control.  I don’t have to react to the other person’s bad/rude attitude.  THEIR attitude is a reflection of themselves and what is going on in THEIR life . . . my attitude does not have to reflect their attitude.  My attitude reflects myself, my personality.  I don’t have to be involved in their attitude.  Oh, it is not always easy.  I am not saying it is.  Especially when I have my own “stuff” going on.  I can be thinking about what is happening in my life and the suffering of those I love and not be prepared for someone’s guff.  At those time it is easy to have my guard down and just let myself get swooped up in that “chicken-head-attitude”, but that is not my personality.  Not getting caught up and not letting someone “get the best of me” is a practice.  I believe it is part of not taking things personally and listening with love.  Not taking things personally is one of the Energy Allies we have in Nia, you might know it as one of the Four Agreements.  Listening with love is something one of my students reminded me of.

Sometimes the attitude encountered could just be of indifference, not even necessarily rude or grumpy, but just the “I don’t care” and when that is coming from someone in customer service it is annoying, but no matter what their attitude is, I am the one that has control over me.  My personality dictates MY attitude.  So I can choose to NOT be a reflection of their poor attitude (and customer service).

So here is my meme.  A reminder to myself that I am in control of me.  I am in control of my personality.  I am in control of my attitude.  I am in control of the energy I put out into the world.

What about you?  Are you in control of your attitude or are you going to let someone else dictate that for you?Dance Exercise, Nia, Nia at the City of San Jose, Nia classes in the South Bay, Nia Teacher, Nia Class, San Jose Nia, Nia San Jose, Nia workout, Nia, Zumba, PiYo, Gentle Yoga

Posted in Misc | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

The Guiltier They Are The Louder They Yell

Posted by terrepruitt on March 6, 2012

Have you ever been in a situation where the reaction of the person you are dealing with is completely odd?  Before I became a Nia Student and teacher I worked in the mortgage industry.  I started when I was 15 going on 16.  I learned a lot working with Mortgage Brokers, Real Estate Brokers, Lenders, Title Officers, Escrow Officers, County Recorders, borrowers, appraisers . . . . and the list goes on.  One thing I learned early on was from a broker.  While I don’t remember the exact situation (what it was he did not do), I do remember the utter perplexity I felt then the moment of absolute clarity.  I have what I learned and easily applied it to many, many, many, many, many situations throughout my life.  Sometimes it actually helps because I can work with the knowledge, sometimes it doesn’t help because it doesn’t matter that I know what is going on, the person is just going to be the way they are no matter what.  Sometimes there is no defusing certain situations or people.  The lesson I learned was actually about behavior.  I observed that people tend to get over the top angry and blow things out of proportion when they are at fault.  The situation I vaguely remember was that I could not do something for the broker because he had not supplied me with what I needed in order to do it.  He was angry and his huge outburst completely flabbergasted me because it was not my fault, it was out of my control, in fact. . .. . and then I saw it clearly . . . .it was his fault and he knew it.

People tend to get more upset when they are the one at fault.  Even when they are the one at fault they project the anger on the person they are dealing with and more often than not the situation goes down hill from there.  Sometimes, as I mentioned, when you know what is happening, when you recognize that the person displaying the anger [(edited, added 02.20.13) is angry at themselves], sometimes you can defuse the situation.  You can somehow let them know that it is ok they made a mistake and work to fix the situation.  But sometimes that doesn’t work.  Sometimes people just want to be angry.  Or sometimes maybe it is that they have had such a bad day they almost can’t help but be angry.  Or sometimes when the situation involves another person they can’t let go of their anger.  If say, whatever it is they did in the situation affected their child or their spouse (or whomever), sometimes this is when they can’t let go . . . and I believe it is because of the guilt of their error.

In some situations it is impossible to help relieve the person’s guilt because you might not even recognize they are feeling guilty.  You might not recognize that they feel bad for the situation they have created.  It could be that it is not really a big deal to you and it can be easily fixed so when the person displays anger towards you, you might be shocked and not be able to work with it.

This reminds me a little of listening with love, but this is more listening with understanding.  Of course, as I mentioned if you don’t have a sense of any wrong doing then it is difficult to understand why someone might feel guilty and then that could be where the listening with love comes in, right?  “I have no idea what is troubling this person so that they are so angry, but I will listen with love because there has been no indication that I should do otherwise.”  🙂

With all the different ways to listen; the “not assuming” and the “understanding what someone is going through”, to the just “listen with love” sometimes communicating can be a challenge.  We should keep trying, keeping talking, keep listening, even through someone else’s guilt.

Have you experienced what I am talking about?  Have you seen or been at the brunt of someone’s anger because they were the one at fault?  What did you do?

Posted in Misc | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Year End Review Of Terre’s 2011 Important Posts – Part II

Posted by terrepruitt on December 31, 2011

Not all of my posts on my list of Year End Review Of Terre’s 2011 Important Posts are Nia posts, but some of them are,  Here are the remaining four of nine that I thought were important enough to re-share.  This is the second half of my Year End Review Post.  When I wrote it as one post, it just seemed too long so I split it up.  Thanks for checking in.  As with the first half, I am just going to give a little summary so you can have the main point right here and you don’t have to go to the original post. But if you WANT to go to the original post (and comment even) please do! I am listing these in order of when they were posted.

I think of this post Muscle Weighs More Than Fat as being something we all need to be reminded of. Muscle DOES NOT weigh more than fat. The saying that muscle weighs more is one of those things that a lot of us say, but it is not correct. A pound of muscle weighs as much as a pound of fat. A pound of anything cannot weigh more than a pound of something else. A pound of muscle will take up a lot less room than a pound of fat as you will see in the picture on this post if you click over. 😉

If you are interested in a dance class that is pretty, a class that produces a performance then Nia is probably not what you are looking for. Nia Might Not Be Pretty — To Some. Nia is about authentic movement. Nia is about moving the body the way it was designed to be moved. Not everyBODY can move the way it was designed. There might be injuries, defects, tightness, or just plain ol’ non-use involved so it might not be pretty as we learn to move. But it is beautiful. This post reminds you that it is what it is and what it is not is a performance. A Nia class is freedom of movement, something to be enjoyed from the angle of the participant and not someone watching.

I have a post about listening with love, but the title is Let Love Be Your Ears. Ya know sometimes titles need to intrigue a potential reader, I was hoping that is what this title was. But the post is about listening with love. We all have heard and some of us might try to live by the old “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” But LISTENING with love is different. Not that common of a “golden rule”. We are not always taught we need to love ourselves, so we might not listen as if people are talking to us with love and not accusations and criticisms.  This might be something we have to practice.  Also listening with love can include giving the person talking a lot of “benefit of the doubt”.  Trying to see where they might be coming from.

Another post is about dance being exercise. It is a reminder that you can have fun and get exercise at the same time. Nia is just that!

So that is the last four on my list of posts I think really could use repeating. I know I picked a few because I need to work on some of them/it myself. I hope that you enjoyed either the summary or the posts themselves. I thank you very much for taking the time to read this. If you have been reading my blog and you recognize some of these I thank you.  I really appreciate you taking the time to read.  If you take the time to read and comment, I am really grateful and I very much appreciate it.

And, of course, I wish you a very happy and safe New Year’s Eve.  I wish you many, many, many opportunities to embrace happiness and experience joy in 2012.  Happy New Year.

Posted in Exercise and Working Out, Misc, Muscles, Nia | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Year End Review Of Terre’s 2011 Important Posts – Part I

Posted by terrepruitt on December 29, 2011

Many bloggers are posting end of the year posts. Some posts are the best, some posts are their favorites, everyone has a different take on it. Some are a review of the year, either in posts or pictures. I thought about doing a post about my favorites, but I was afraid they would all be my Nia posts. As I was going through my posts from the last year I came up with an eclectic bunch . . . . just like my post. I can’t say they are my favorites, but I can say they are ones that I want to point out again. I actually found twenty-three posts that I wanted to re-share. TWENTY-THREE! But that is way too many to summarize and share. I narrowed it down to nine. These nine are ones I think are the most important of the ones I’ve posted this past year.  I still think nine is a lot so I am going to do this year in review in two parts. I am just going to give a little summary so you can have the main point right here and you don’t have to go to the original post. But if you WANT to go to the original post (and comment even) please do! I am listing these in order of when they were posted.

One of the most important things I have posted about is Balance. The post is called Nia Balance and I was sharing about how balance was challenging because of my injured toe, but the main point of the post is that balance is really important and that our Nia routines are full of opportunities in which we can practice our balance. Since balance is so important you can practice it throughout your day without really changing the way you do things too much. Balance is so important, especially as we age.

It’s Out There is my post about how great Nia is! Ha, ha! Well it is a little bit about Nia, but a lot about the fact that there are many, many, many other movement forms out there. There are so many different forms of movements that there really has to be something for everyone. Nia is for everyBODY as it was created to move the body in the body’s way, but it is not for everyone. There is something out there for everyone! If you look you can find a class for you!

I posted about Feeling Vs. Sensing. Feeling is emotion. Feelings are how you FEEL. Sensing is what your body does. You FEEL happy. Your body senses heat. You FEEL sad. Your body senses cold. Knowing the difference can help you give your body and/or your emotional self, your spirit the workout it needs.

I made up a list of ten exercises that can be done in ten minutes. There is actually a lot of different ways you can do the list of ten exercises, but the idea was to get a full body workout in ten minutes. The hope was that the ten in ten would be an inspiration and a catalyst for actually doing more.

This past week I had company and they were here through the dinner hour. I didn’t know that they would be here that long so I didn’t have anything planned for dinner that would feed all four of us, but I still wanted to feed my husband when they left. So about the time they were talking about leaving I went into the kitchen. I was in the kitchen all of seven minutes. I washed the rice, turned on the rice maker, chopped the end off the asparagus, rinsed them, put them in a pan then put them in the oven, and dumped the marinated chicken in a pan and put it in the oven. I then set the timer for 20 minutes at which time dinner would be ready. I achieved a 30 minutes meal. All because when I froze the chicken I made a sauce for it at the same time. So when I took it out to defrost it was already marinating or doing so as it defrosted. So it really took seven minutes for me to make dinner. My friends didn’t even miss me because I was only gone seven minutes. This post is about Shopping Step to help Dinner Prep. After shopping before you freeze the meat make your marinade right inside the bag. It has really helped me get dinner ready much faster! Love it!

So this is five on my list out of nine post I think really could use repeating.   I hope you check back Saturday to see the rest of the list.  I thank you very much for taking the time to read this. If all of these or some of these are “repeats” to you, then I really thank you. Thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate you reading and if you are a commenter . . . I appreciate you even more!!!  See you back here on Saturday for the rest of the review of my Year End Review!

Posted in Food, Misc, Nia | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Let Love Be Your Ears

Posted by terrepruitt on November 17, 2011

Dance Exercise, Nia teacher, Nia student, Student of Life, Nia classes, San Jose NiaA Nia student of mine reminded me of something after a Nia Class the other day. She said her daily meditation said to speak with love AND to listen with love. I have heard that before I believe, either someone posted it on Facebook or a friend posted about it on her blog. I can’t remember. The speaking with love is not always easy, but I think of it as a more common thought, a more common instruction. It can be compared to the old adage  “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” A well-remembered saying. Somewhat similar. Speaking with love would be saying nice things.  But the listening with love or the hearing with love, that is a little less common of an instruction. I have not heard that one for as long as I can remember as I have heard the other one. I also think it is more difficult to do than to speak with love. I mean, like the old saying says, don’t say anything if you can’t be nice. But it is difficult not to hear someone. If someone is talking you general listen and hear them, but it could be a challenge to do it with love.

We all take our experiences into situations. Our thoughts and actions are based upon our past and what we know. So I believe that we hear and listen the same way. If someone has been in relationships where their partner has lied to them, then they might hear a lie in everything. They might be listening with distrust and anger, not love. If someone is having a bad day and someone says, “Have a nice day.” they might hear it as sarcasm. Whatever it is that we are feeling, thinking, and experiencing at the moment it can definitely “cloud” how we hear things. If we are not conscious of how we are listening we can make something out of nothing. If we hear and listen in anger, we could respond accordingly and cause a fight or hurt feelings. It is not easy to always listen with love. We all have “stuff” going on in our lives. Some of this “stuff” can make us sensitive and this sensitivity can possible make us read into things.  Listen with love is a practice.

I can’t remember if what I am talking about was the focus of my friend’s blog post, but I do remember my comment including the association between what she was saying and the four agreements.  Listening/hearing with love reminds me of “not taking things personal”. “Things” as I mentioned.  If there is something going on in my life that is making me upset, I might listen and hear things in a negative way. Or if someone else is having a bad day and I am not listening with love, I might not stop to think, “Hey, maybe this person is having a bad day and instead of snapping meanly back at them, I should remember that we all have bad days.”

Clearly there are different ways we can take “listen with love”. When I hear that, these are two ways that occur to me.  What do you think of when you hear, “listen with love”?

Posted in Misc | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »