A lot of movement forms, from different dances to different types of exercise regimes, use chest isolations. One of Nia’s 52 Moves. See, as I have said over and over, not unique to Nia, but something that we use in our routines. Something we can say and people know what the move is. Even if they can’t do it, they know what it is. This move moves the chest so – as with a lot of moves that involve the movement of the chest – some people are hesitant to do it. Some people think of moves that move the chest as moves that moves the breasts and for some people this creates a lot of issues. As a woman, there are some moves that are just going to move the breasts but that is not the focus. Often times when I encourage people to focus on what is actually the focus of the movement, they can release any feelings or ideas that might be blocking the movement. I mentioned this in my post about the Shimmy. I have seen relief or understanding pass over people’s faces when they take the focus off of what is part of the front of the body/chest and onto the back when it comes to the shimmy. The same with the chest isolations. Your chest is moving that means everything connected to it, but the focus is on the muscles and the bones.
The movement of the spine, the ribs, the sternum, and even the collar bones is a chest isolations. See, even though it might feel like you are move the front (breasts) the focus is on all the other things. The back muscles help move the spine side to side allowing the ribs to slide from side to side over the hips. The sternum floats to different places over the hips. The collar bones stay level. You can just also press your ribs forward and pull them back. Your arms are out to the side or you can place your hands on your hips to help ensure there is no movement in the hips. You can make your ribs move in circles.
With the side to side motion I used to reference a typewriter carriage. Remember those? They would slide to one side of the machine and kind of hang over then you would use the return arm to get it to slide back. That is a GREAT visual and I actually see some people replicate it. But then I see others in class who don’t even know what a typewriter is. And if they do it was certainly the electric version that didn’t have a visible moving carriage with a return arm-dohicky. So we just focus on the slide.
The chest isolations help keep you spine flexible and mobile. It also helps you use those muscle that are inside, the intrinsic muscles. The little ones that help with balance. While you are doing the chest isolation movement you can focus on the and sense them.
Another way to isolate the chest is you can do a more front-back movement. If you are doing the front back portion of the move it is as if you are closing your chest and opening your back. And then opening your chest and closing your back. Arms can help. Bring your elbows back and draw them together to help open the chest and close the back. Then bring them forward to open the back and close the chest.
This is one of those moves you can do anywhere. You can do it in your car while you are stopped at a traffic light. Don’t worry, other people don’t look up from their cell phones they will never notice you sliding your ribs around. Enjoy the relaxed sensation and flexibility.
Are you familiar with chest isolations? Do you do them in your current dance class? Do you do them in your exercise program?
In March of 2010 I wrote a post about Daylight Saving Time. First, as a reminder it is Daylight Saving(no s) Time. You can check out that post by clicking HERE. It just has some facts I gathered from the internet about Daylight Saving Time. Basically it hasn’t always been around, it went away, it came back, then after 21 years the government extended it in 2007. The government made it start sooner and end later. Instead of starting the first Sunday of April and ending the last Sunday of October, it now starts the second weekend of March and ends the first Sunday of November. I am not a fan. I do not like to lose an hour of sleep. If you read my blog at all, you pretty much know I am a “night person” so when it is DAYLIGHT at 9:00 AT NIGHT, it is really difficult for me to even think about going to bed at a decent hour. IT IS STILL LIGHT OUT! So . . . it is daytime. So . . . whatever . . . I don’t like a lot of things, I just live with them. But what I don’t understand is I hear so many other people voice their dislike for it, too. Why do we still do it? What is up with Daylight Saving Time?
If you are looking for answers you won’t find them there. I wasn’t even planning on bringing this up but someone posted a funny video to my Facebook Timeline this morning and I remembered I had saved a link to an article about it. Before my Nia and yoga class today I watched the video. Even though I watched the video I didn’t think about the lost hour or the DAYLIGHT at night. I laughed it off. But then on my way to my Nia class, as I was stopped at a stop light, the bank clock said 7:32. REALLY? UGH! Then when I looked up at the dance studio clock IT said 7:42. Sigh. Seems as if I was not going to be able to forget that it was AN HOUR earlier. And the funny thing is — all of a sudden, I felt tired. I yawned.
So, needing something to post on my blog today, I read the article (the one I save the linked for) “5 myths about daylight saving time”. Click here to go there. MORE information regarding the absurdity of Daylight Saving Time. Really . . . WHY DO WE HAVE IT STILL? Are you of the belief it is or was for the farmers? Well both the video I saw this morning (although it was a comedy video) and the post on the Washington Post said it was not for the farmers. In fact, the article claims that farmers were AGAINST it. They don’t like it.
The article is about 5 Myths of DST. The first one was the farmers theory. The second one is that it makes us healthier having that extra daylight when actually the sleep disruption and the changing of the time makes us more prone to automobile accidents. Some data has indicated that male suicide increases and the change has an adverse affect on people with mental health problems. Some physicians even think it can trigger cluster headaches.
The third one is the energy myth. That was the reason for its extension. (The article says it was extending in 2005. That was when the act was passed. We didn’t actually put the extension into practice until 2007.) The article also sites a study where Indiana’s government thought the residents would save $7 million in electricity costs, but it ended up costing the residents $9 million MORE. So not only was there no savings it cost MORE!
The fourth one is it increases revenue for businesses. Well, that is why I thought “they” (the government) did it. More sales. And while that sounds true – from the article – it also state that not ALL businesses benefit. The Air Transport Association estimated that the change for the extension would cost $147 million (holy carp!) because of the extra scheduling that has to be done to keep the flights all running smoothly with the rest of the world.
And the last myth is an argument about “Standard Time” not being actually “standard” because it is for less months out of the year than Daylight Saving Time.
So what do YOU think? Like it? Hate it? Love the light later? Don’t like it being so dark in the morning? Miss the lost hour of sleep? Feeling sick? Feeling disoriented?
Sigh! I am a bit distracted lately. I have this Special Nia Event that I am promoting and it has me thinking about it a lot. So today I found myself grateful for a fly. Ewwww. I hate flies. They gross me out. Especially those ones that BUZZ loudly. They just fly around making all types of racket! I have a habit of leaving the door open when I go outside. I usually am going to “just be a moment”, but then it turns into longer. Or even when it really is just a moment, a fly always seems to come right in. Argh! Today after my Nia class I had a meeting about another Nia workshop and then I went to the store. When I drove into the garage I was thinking about the meeting, happy and confident it went well. I felt as if we had an idea of where we were going. That felt good. Then I opened the door and walked into the kitchen. The kitchen was a mess so the workshop was swooshed out of my brain and I immediately (after turning of the alarm) began to clean the kitchen. In an effort to clear some of the clutter I had all over the place, I decided to take something out into the garage. Here is when I encountered the fly for which I am grateful.
I stepped out of the kitchen with items in hand. As I began to put them on the shelf I heard that awful buzz of a fly. I turned quickly to shut the screen door which I had left open because that is my habit – I was just going to put something on a shelf – really fast. After I found room to put the items down I thought, “What if I open the garage door? Would the fly go out? Could I herd him outside?” So I opened the door. I spotted the fly and moved toward him at which point I lost sight of him but I was hoping I would kind of swish him out anyway and then I felt him on my hand. EWWWWWWW! I hate that! Icky! I touched the fly. I managed not to do the ewww-I-touched-a-bug-crazy-dance but I still was grossed out. But I also felt that he did go outside.
So I turned around to go back into the house. As I was walking towards the door I noticed an empty spot on the floor and I thought, “Huh we are out of that. Good thing I just went to the store and bought some.” Ahhhh. I had forgotten my groceries in the car. I had forgotten the groceries entirely! I completely forgot about them. I was focused on the progress I felt we made at my meeting, when I pulled into the garage. I wasn’t thinking about groceries. Then the kitchen mess sucked me in. It didn’t ever occur to me I had just gone shopping and had groceries. Geez!
So I turned around to get the groceries out of the car. I found myself grateful for that icky fly. Then I found myself rolling my eyes because I NEVER in a MILLION YEARS would have thought that I would have ever thought, “Oh, I am grateful for a fly.” But I was grateful for that fly. If I wouldn’t have stopped to get him out of the garage I would have left my groceries in my trunk and they would have gotten icky. I didn’t have any meat or dairy, but my veggies would have gotten wilted.
Ha, so there you have my day. And the my story about being grateful for a fly. (Ewww!) Who would have thought?
Please tell me you forget things, too. What have you forgotten lately? What are you grateful for?
I have been having this icky feeling in my chest. I don’t have a cough – really, but sometimes a tickle. I don’t FEEL sick, but this icky, burning type feeling. It is kinda making me grumpy. Short-tempered is more accurate. I think I have mentioned how when I don’t feel good, before I even realize I don’t feel well, I get grumpy. I think it makes sense for people to be grumpy when they don’t feel well. I am trying not to ACT grumpy, of course, but I feel a bit grumpy/short-tempered. I know that I have also mentioned that I have not been sick since last year, so I am fighting this with vitamins, sleep, and tea. I have been drinking a lot of tea. My hubby and I will drink tea at night to warm us up when we are cold. But I don’t usually drink tea during the day unless I am cold. I do drink Chai Tea Lattes, in place of my coffee sometimes in the morning. I have some days where I have a Nia class in the morning and a yoga class right after so I get home later in the day than I want to be drinking coffee so I drink the Chai Tea Latte (recipe here). But the thing that makes my chest feel better is HOT liquid so I have been drinking tea. I like those Yogi teas. I have posted about them before. I am drinking two that are supposedly to help support your immune system. But, ya know what else they actually do? They make me happy. I love the little sayings on the tea bag tags.
Most of them make me smile. “Be proud of who you are.” That is a great saying. Something many of us could use to be reminded of. Something that not everyone has someone tell them. So why not be reminded via a lovely tea bag. Enjoy a nice cup of yummy tea and a nice reminder.
Many, many, many people believe that “Gratitude is the open door to abundance.” First of all if you are grateful for what you have you have many wonderful things in abundance. And if you think in the positive you attract the positive. Having gratitude will attract more things to be grateful for. Ahhhhh . . . and a lovely cup of tea to go with that awesome perspective.
“Life is a flow of love; your participation is requested.” WOW! Life is a flow of love. That alone is a great saying. Just thinking of life as one big flow of love. My cup of tea tasted better with just THAT part alone. Then the request for participation. That really made this saying go over the top (in a good way) for me. I love that. Participate in the love that is life. Let love flow. Grab your raft and jump on the flowing river that is love and that is life.
I really love my Echinacea Immune Support Yogi Tea. It smells great. It smells of fragrant flowers. I can just breathe in the aroma from the bags and be calmed. It tastes just as good. Then the little sayings on the bags — just make me smile. I don’t love all of them . . . but they make me smile. And then some of them I love. Like these ones mentioned here.
Do you drink Yogi tea? Do you have any favorite sayings that they have on their tea bags?
I love being a Nia teacher and teaching Nia classes, however, it nets more of a “cosmic salary” than one that allows for vacations. The last time we went on vacation was before I lost my corporate job. We took a BIG vacation in 2006 and 2007. We have been to my father’s house, which is pretty close to a vacation because we don’t do any household chores and we just relax in a BEAUTIFUL lake community. But I still work. Since I only teach six classes a week, it might appear as if I only work six hours a week, but I am always writing a blog post or learning a routine, checking e-mails and creating flyers and marketing material. So when the idea to go away for a weekend to celebrate my husband’s birthday was suggested it sounded intriguing. We thought about Napa. We like bed and breakfasts. I found one for less than the cost of many hotels in that area. So we decided to go! For my hubby’s birthday we spent a wonderful weekend in Napa. We had such a good time I wanted to share a story or two and few pictures. It has been a long time since we vacationed!
My hubby gave himself a birthday present of taking three days off from work! Good boy. Did I catch him working during the weekend? Well, I shouldn’t be a tattler. His first day off was Friday. I taught my Nia class in the morning then at 1:30 we were off to the land of the vines! We arrived about 3:30 and were able to check in. It was a cute little room. Which I did not think to take pictures of until we were on our way out so . . . the room is not as spiffy in these shots as it is when you first arrive. It was a perfectly fine room for the price. It even had a little fridge! I love that because we always have leftovers.
We didn’t make reservations for dinner on any night so John looked at Yelp for places that were closest to the place we were staying. We like to be able to walk to downtown Napa. The very closest place was Tarla. I would DRIVE from home to eat there. It was that good. We called first but we were told that a party of two did not need reservations. So when we walked in and he asked I said we were told we didn’t need any. But then I also said that if it would get us in faster we would be a party of four and I patted the arm of the man standing next to me. 🙂 So that couple was whisked off to there seats. As the host was telling us how long our wait would be (10 to 15 minutes — no biggie!), the man came back out and told the host that we could sit with them! How FUN! We ended up having a great time with a great couple. It was really nice. The man owns Wine Country Helicopters. I would have loved to book a tour, but I didn’t think my hubby would do that. But now that he knows the owner he said he might. So next time! Dinner was really yummy and the company was great.
Saturday was our wine shuttle tour. Where we were surprised to be with ten other people. But they were all great so we had a really nice time. We met three young attorneys, a mother-son-daughter trio, and a foursome of “mom friends”. It was really nice. The weather was perfect. We actually didn’t end up with a lot of wine because three out of the five stops we had made we had said seven years ago that we never needed to visit them again. And we were right! We didn’t actually get to the ONE winery that we wanted to go to.
So that was the trip we made on Saturday. We drove out to the winery we (I) wanted to visit. Then we dropped off the car and headed back to town to hit a restaurant and some of the wine rooms. The first “room” we came to was Prime Cellars tasting room. We had a GREAT time with the young woman (Christine) pouring the wine. She poured, we purchased . . . it was a nice visit. We ate at the Bounty Hunter – the only place I will order a pulled pork sandwich. Although it is in a different location than when we last visited, it is still a nice place to eat with great food.
We stopped at Tarla on our way back to the room. The bartender made me one of her own concoctions — which tasted a bit like a Moscow Mule with out the heat. We had a snack then headed back to our room.
The weather was GREAT all weekend. A bit windy on Sunday, but that is ok. The sun was shining and the sky was blue. It was fantastic. I am going to sub as much as I can so that I can get us back up there before 2021! It is such a great place to visit! My hubby said he had a GREAT birthday weekend and that is what is most important.
Happy Birthday, Hubby!
Have you ever been to Napa? Do you have wine tasting in your area? Do you go?
I think I am very correct in saying that Group Exercise Instructors and Nia teachers love to hear students ask, “Where else do you teach?” and “What else do you teach?” Isn’t that the greatest thing? It is such a huge compliment. The student is asking where else can they get more of you. The student is asking in what other ways can they get more of you. I had never thought of that as a compliment. I had never even realized it was a compliment. When I was asked that, I used to feel bad because I didn’t teach anything else other than Nia. I also felt bad when I just taught at one place. I was always so focused on not being able to meet their additional needs I didn’t “hear” the compliment. I didn’t hear the un-spoken, “You met my need here.” Last year, I actually was in a required continued education class instructed by the YMCA when the teacher mentioned that if a student asks you those questions it is a compliment. Ha. Silly I had never thought of it as a compliment. I was focused on something else entirely. It strikes me as funny when I go into a situation to learn one thing and something totally different is taught to me. I was taught to see it as a compliment.
Nowadays, I am not so focused on not being able to meet their need for an additional class or another venue, because I am teaching six classes at four different places. Although people still would like an evening Nia class. This schedule can change at anytime, but for now, at least, I feel more varied.
Do you ever go into a situation expecting to learn one thing and come out surprised at what you learned? I like when I can learn what I was expecting AND something I wasn’t expecting. That always makes me feel happy. I feel like I got a bingo or hit the lotto. A two-for-one kind of thing. A real deal. Something completely worth my time. Ya know?
Do you ever miss a compliment? Are you ever so focused on something else you don’t even realize the person talking to you / asking a question is really in a sense giving you a compliment? Sometimes it is kind of nice because later on it might hit you and bring a smile to your face, but then I feel bad I didn’t take the opportunity to show gratitude. But sometimes that happens.
For a second I thought of listening with love, but I don’t think this is the same as that. But perhaps. Maybe if I had been listening with love instead of feeling bad I could help I would have noticed it was a compliment. But then I would have been so excited about the class I had to take. I wouldn’t have gotten that “extra” bang for my buck. Ha, ha!
This same type of compliment would be said to a performer, “Where else do you perform?” “What else have you performed in?” Yeah, that is a compliment all right.
So how about it? Have you ever experienced any unexpected learning? Have you ever totally “missed” that someone was complimenting you? What other situations would that type of comment fit?
Do you ever just dance? You might be one to turn on the music and start dancing. Perhaps you have a favorite song you like to dance to? Or you might be one who breaks into dance spontaneously. You could be in the house and a song comes on and you don’t even really think about it, next think you know you are moving to the music. Perhaps you are one that is so gusty or you just don’t care so you dance in the aisle at the grocery store. Music moves us. It is easy to dance to a song we like. Sometimes we “can’t help it”. We just burst into a dance. But dancing without choreography in a dance exercise class? No one telling you exactly how to move? Just move to the music? Without having consumed any alcohol? It is a concept not easily grasped by many. It is a concept that we practice often in a Nia class. We call it Nia FreeDance.
As I mentioned dancing without choreography in an exercise class is a new concept to many. Moving without having a structured plan doesn’t sound like exercise to many people. Some people are very resistant to Nia FreeDance because of this reason. Some people cannot understand how you can “get a good workout” without having a structured plan, without moving the same way over and over again. The way we have been programmed to exercise includes repetition and structure. It includes traveling in a straight line from point a to point b, it includes being told how to move. So just moving without any idea of what comes after the present movement is vastly alien to some.
Yet, I have people who actually let go and try it. Those who push beyond their own skepticism and doubt come up to me and say, “Wow! I am sweating.” Those who let the music move their bodies without thinking about it have said, “Who would have thought that I would have gotten such a great workout?” Some realize, “I might be sore tomorrow.” They MIGHT be sore the next day because they moved their bodies in ways that their bodies are not accustom to moving.
Nia FreeDance is there to help stimulate movement creativity. So if you do it with full abandon you might end up with muscles that talk to you the next day. Your body will have moved in new and different ways. So Nia FreeDance is not the dancing you would do at a club or a dance lesson. It is just free movement. Yes, some of those cool club moves or patterns you learned in dance class sneak in because we dance what we know. We think about it and move in that way. But there really is more to FreeDancing. It might have a pattern for a moment, it might have structure for a moment, but it moves away and comes back. It is free.
To assist with FreeDance and to deepen the practice there are eight stages that can be a guide, because as I said, it is not necessarily an easy thing to do.
The catch phrases have changed slightly since I participated in the Nia White Belt Intensive in 2008, but it is all basically the same. The catch phrases give you a clue as to what the stage is for. All the stages help you to FreeDance. You can dance each stage separately or combine them in any fashion. The idea is just to give you something to help get you moving and then give you something to keep you moving. Moving in new and different ways. The new and different active body, mind, emotions, and spirit. FreeDance is one of the key things that makes Nia unique. If you click on the stages above you will go to the post that I have posted for each stage.
I am very excited about the Special Nia Class and Nia Free Dance Playshop that I am producing next month. So I have been thinking a lot about FreeDance and how great it is. This post is a result of my excitement and my attempt at getting people excited and curious about FreeDance. Reading about it is one thing, but getting up and actually DOING it is another. These are the stages used to deepen your practice, but they are not what we will be covering in the Playshop. As the flyer states, we will be learning Jason’s tools for FreeDance! I hope you will join us!
Are you a dancer? Do you break into dance? What is the current hit that you can’t help but dance to?
I have been teaching Nia since 2009. Just now, this year, this month, I decided to send a monthly e-mail. I HAVE sent e-mails in the past, but I have never done it on a schedule. I have never sent an e-mail on a MONTHLY basis. In the past I have sent e-mails when I had an announcement or when I wanted to wish my students a happy holiday or when I felt I needed to remind them of something. But I just decided in the middle of last month that I was going to send a monthly e-mail. It somewhat came about when I wanted to promote the Nia Class and Playshop I am producing in March. It also came about when a group of us were talking about people that we have not seen in a long time. I was asking the group of Nia participants if they saw so-and-so. Because sometimes the people could stop coming to the Nia classes but still attend other classes. The people I was asking about, I was told, had not been seen at other classes either. So then we started talking about being able to contact them. It has been suggested in the past that the venues should give me people’s information. I am not comfortable with third party hand-offs. Of course, no one is under any type of obligation whatsoever to tell me where they are and what they are doing when they stop coming to a class. But I – we, the other students and I would like to let people know that they are missed. So I decided to ask for people’s e-mail address so I could have a way to contact them. The classes for which I rent the studio, I have always requested a e-mail addresses. But requesting them in this type of setting is new for me.
There are a lot of reasons someone might stop attending a class. And honestly, it is not necessarily my business, I don’t need to know why you stopped coming. But I really do have a desire to let you know that we noticed and we miss you. When someone lets me know they are thinking about me, it makes me happy. So I think it would be nice to let someone know that we are still holding class and we miss their energy or style they used to bring.
I asked my students what they wanted to received: monthly e-mails, special e-mails, love notes. They all said, “What are love notes?” And I replied, “E-mails tell you I love you.” Some of them had quizzical looks in response. Some were completely ok with that. I did explain that sometimes I just wanted to say thank you or let them know I was thinking about them. Or sometimes I might inquire as to their status. And I mentioned some of our fellow participants that are no longer here and they nodded. The monthly e-mails are going to consist of announcements, tidbits, and links to my blog posts.
This monthly e-mail format is flexible, it might change. I might not have anything to announce one month so I might use that space as a reminder. The tidbits will be little bits about Nia, exercising, nutrition, a quote, etc. It will be a short e-mail and it will be skimmable. Recipients will be able to skim it quickly. There will be links to information in case you want more.
I am so blessed to have such great students. We have fun.
I am excited about this new thing. I know that many people send out monthly e-mails, I get them. I know this is something I probably should have been doing since the beginning, but I didn’t, I am doing it NOW.
Would you like to receive the monthly e-mail? If so indicate that in the comment. You enter your e-mail address when leaving a comment. So that is the one I will use if you ask to be added. No one else sees that information. Do you receive any e-mails monthly?
I did not intend to write a blog post on all of the 52 Moves in Nia. My intent was to post a few and entice you into buying The Nia Technique Book. It seems as if I just might get to all of Nia’s 52 Moves on my blog. It so happens that sometimes I am at a loss as to what to post, so I turn to a move on the list of 52 Moves. Or sometimes I am intrigued by one the moves because it is in a routine that I am currently dancing with my students. Or I am intrigued by of the moves that it is in a Nia Routine that I danced with another Nia teacher. OR I am intrigued by of the moves even though it is NOT in a Nia Routine – as in, it is not part of the original choreography, but we do it anyway. That is the fun thing about Nia Routines and the 52 Moves. You can kind of put them in anywhere. And, I will say it again, because I think it is important to state that the moves that Nia includes on their list are not unique to Nia. Nia is not claiming to have created them. Also, it is nice to know that you will experience moves in Nia that you have experienced before. The moves are on the lists and included in Nia Routines because there are benefits to doing them. Some of them are so simple the benefits could be overlooked. Some of them might seem odd to have included on a list of moves done in a dance exercise class. But they have benefits. One move that is simple and might seem random to have in an exercise class is Finger Flicks.
Yeah, you read that right, Finger Flicks. Flicking your fingers. This move can be done so many different ways. Fast, slow, high, low, fingers up, fingers down, with an emotion, without an emotion, with the music, against the music, so many possibilities. The benefits of this move include conditioning the muscles of the forearms and hands. If you really use your thumb to resist the fingers the move contracts the forearm muscles and makes your fingers work! The Nia Technique Book states that this move helps rid the hands of tension.
The how-to is simple enough. I bet you know it already. You form a loose fist with your hand, keeping the thumb on the outside of the fingers. Then push with all four fingers against the thumb. Allow your thumb to resist. Then let your fingers push through. Practice this move with your hand at different levels-as in high above your shoulders, at the same level as your shoulder, below your shoulders. Let your arms hang, hold them out . . . in other words flick your fingers all over. Use one hand, then the other, then both. Just flick, flick, flick, flick. Try doing it how I mentioned, fast, slow, high, low, fingers up, fingers down, with an emotion, without an emotion, with the music, against the music, play with the possibilities.
You can practice this move while dancing around your home. You probably do this move without even thinking about it after washing your hands. You could probably check the mirrors above the sink to verify it.
Sometimes I just can’t figure it out. I do know that when my body is fighting off something (a cold, a virus, or the sickness that is going around) I get grumpy. I don’t get sick, but I get grumpy and I don’t know why. It is probably because I am feeling less than 100%, but not sick. My hubby and I have not actually been sick since last January. Where we got something from the family at the Holiday dinner and it took us down for days. Me – for one and half to be exact. I just went to bed. My hubby took longer to get better because he didn’t just go to bed. He — like most people have to work. I was lucky enough that it hit me Thursday after my class and I didn’t have a class on Friday so I slept all day. I remember it well because I have never just slept like that. I remember I got up once to make dinner and eat, but then I was back in bed. I wanted to get rid of it. Sometimes there are things going on that I allow myself to stress out about. Like when I am learning a new routine. I’ve told you that before. But usually after teaching it for the first time the sense of “nervousness” goes away. Could be that I messed up bad yesterday and forgot to do something I told someone I would do. Never have done that before. Don’t want to do it again. I do know that is really bothering me. But it could also be that thing I am trying to not let bother me. I don’t THINK it is bothering me . . . but I feel odd . . . so it COULD be bothering me. So like I said, sometimes I just can’t figure it out. Is my body working really hard to keep from getting sick? Am I so mad at myself for being forgetful that I can’t forgive myself and have this icky feeling inside? Or is it that THING I am not thinking about? And in not thinking about it, I am thinking about it. I do think that sometimes grief has this “buzz” about it. It might not be there all big and hairy making you cry and wail, but it is there. It makes you edgy. Sometimes even a little jumpy. And it is not so much that I am not thinking about it, it is more that I was going to try not to mention it. But . . . . I think, trying not to mention it and trying to just let it be “not a big deal” is in fact making it a big deal. Grrrr! So . . . not to make a big deal out of it, but to see if putting it out there helps relieve this tightness (almost like heartburn) in my chest and throat I will no longer ignore the THING. Today is my mom’s birthday.
She and I are twenty years apart. She would have been 67. I had hoped I would have her around until she was in her 80s, but that didn’t happen.
I had thought that my dad and niece and I would get together and do something for my mom’s birthday, but we decided not to. I never know if my dad is just trying to be brave or if he really thinks he is ok. I also had secured tickets to an event this weekend so that had me believing my dad and letting him be. He had a lot of projects he is doing. “Keeping busy” as he says.
So really, I wasn’t going to say anything, but like, I said, there is something . . . . I can’t figure it out. So I was thinking NOT SAYING ANYTHING, might be it. Because otherwise I am excited. I have a new Nia class. I mentioned in a recent post that I was going to filling in for someone. Turns out the “filling in” is going to be a permanent situation. Remembering, of course, that “permanent” is still a flexible term. I have to make sure the number of attendees in the other classes don’t go down. A thought I had had, was, having Nia three times a week, might keep people from coming to the other two classes. But today we had a record breaker. So, we will see.
There are also a few other good things going on. Perhaps they are good, but causing some stress? I don’t know. Like I said, sometimes I just can’t figure it out. All I can figure out is that there is SOMETHING and I don’t like it. So I am doing things, trying this and trying that to see what works.
What do you think? Do you agree with the idea that grief can just hang out and make you edgy? Do you think sometimes it is like that annoying thing you can’t put your finger on? Do you understand it is not always tears and big time sorrow?
Terre Pruitt's Blog 