Archive for August, 2013
Posted by terrepruitt on August 31, 2013
I am really happy. This coming week marks a year that we have had Nia on Tuesday mornings at the Camden Community Center in San Jose. Workout classes – especially group exercise classes at city community centers – can come and go. I have been blessed with a small but very consistent group of individuals who are interested in gaining or retaining their health through movement. I am further blessed that some of my students who attend my Monday and Wednesday Nia classes have made it over to the community center. Nia on Tuesdays started on Tuesday, September 4, 2012. Our year class will be Tuesday, September 3, 2013.
I have been teaching Nia on Mondays and Wednesdays in the Willow Glen area of San Jose since February 2009. Most of the individuals that make up the Monday and Wednesday group have been coming for most of the four years and seven months. They too are a dedicated group of students that I appreciate. I rent the time at that location.
I am not sure if many classes at city community centers go on for years. So I am very happy that we have made it to the year mark. I think that as long as the students continue to attend we will have a class. I am hopeful that we will expand our numbers as we enter into our second year. This is the community center where the students requested a second class. There was an opening so their thinking was, “Why not fill it with Nia?” So they wrote a note asking the supervisor if they could have Nia in the time slot that has just opened. The supervisor is allowing us to give it a go. If, this story sound familiar it is because I wrote about it in my Goodie Jar – Check In #27 post in the beginning of the month. I was so excited that was definitely something that went into the Good Things Jar!
The Thursday class has started out with good numbers. Hopefully that class will grow too. It is made up of the core group from Tuesdays, but with a few different people. This past Thursday they were all very kind, patient, and understanding while my music and the player were not cooperating.
As with most dance exercise workouts it is really fun when there is music. While Nia can be done without music, it is nice to have music so that each individual can dance in their own way while we do the routine. The group was very nice and let me run to my car after three songs so I could get my boom box.
So, I am just grateful and sharing my gratitude. I am grateful to have great Nia students at all of my classes. And I am very grateful that the San Jose Parks and Recreation Department is allowing me to have two Nia classes. I am jumping for joy at our one year anniversary. I have actually been working for the city for over a year, but it took a couple of months to get a class. Yay us!
Here’s to our Nia class being one year old at the community center. Here’s to more to come! Thanks for sharing in my joy!
Posted in Nia | Tagged: Camden Community Center, city community centers, dance class, dance exercise, dedicated students, group exercise, health through movement, Nia, Nia class, Nia community, Nia Dance, Nia group, Nia joy, Nia San Jose, Nia students, One year anniversary, San Jose Community Centers, San Jose Nia, San Jose Parks and Recreation Department, Willow Glen Nia | 8 Comments »
Posted by terrepruitt on August 30, 2013
You might have read that our cat is sick. She has been diagnosed with a chronic disease. Unfortunately to get to the point of knowing there is an issue and having it diagnosed the cat has to be really sick. The disease involves the digestive system and most of you know or can imagine what that means. So in order to keep any “messes” that might occur contained we had been confining the cat to the bathroom when we leave the house and while we are sleeping. This allowed for peace of mind on our parts and much easier clean up. As things started to improve and certain “messes” became less frequent, we would confine her to my office. I put cardboard over most of the carpet so that clean up would be easier. While the litter box visits were normalizing and become less frequent there was still some vomit issue. But in my office if the weather is not too hot, I would leave the windows open and there is just more room for her. Even though it was somewhat risky, in that any mess would have been more difficult to clean I thought it was nicer for her to be in a larger room and have windows. At first I left her in her only while I was teaching, but then we started allowing her to stay in my office overnight.
I just looked at my notes and it has not been as long as I thought. I thought we started confining her at the beginning of July, but it was the beginning of August. So it progressed faster than I thought. Either way, I think she was tired of having to stay in one room. Although she does it anyway on her own, not having a choice is always frustrating — even to a cat.
Anyway . . . . this long story just to say that last night was the first night since the beginning of August that we let the cat stay out. She was free to roam the house. I doubt she did much roaming, but at least she had the opportunity. So far she has not thrown up and I think we are on our way to controlling her symptoms. She has been eating a very healthy amount and I do believe gaining some weight.
So I have a few things to put in my good jar. In addition to our cat improving, the Nia class the Nia students asked for which started two weeks ago on Thursday mornings is doing well. Our weather this summer has been awesome. Although it is going to be hot over the Labor Day Weekend least it has not been hot all summer long.
So how is your Good Things Jar doing? Is it getting full?
Posted in Good Things in the Goodie Jar | Tagged: chronic disease, good things, good things jar, Goodie Jar, Goodie Jar – Check In #29, Labor Day, Nia class, Nia students, sick cat | Leave a Comment »
Posted by terrepruitt on August 29, 2013
Since I recently posted a recipe with Green Beans, Walnuts, and Onions, I have been posting about the three main ingredients separately, for Green Beans click here and for Walnuts click here. I like onions. I like sweet onions, red onions, white onions, yellow onions, and green onions. I have actually grown to like them more as I get older. When I was younger I liked the flavor, but not the onion itself. I would pick them out of anything and off of anything. And I used to never eat them raw. I still don’t like to eat a lot of cooked onions and will often leave them on my plate if they are cut large enough and it is easy to move them out of the food I am eating, but I do actually eat them now. Also I will include raw onions in my salad. It all depends. When I eat them raw they have to be so teeny tiny you would probably laugh. Onions, however, are more than just for flavoring.
Onions contain flavonoids. Flavonoids are what give the plant its pigment and have been linked to terms such as “cancer-fighting” and a lot of “anti-s” – antioxidant, anti-inflammatory, anti-cancer, anti-biotic, anti-allergic, anti-microbial, and anti-diarrheal activities. Onions store the flavonoids primarily in their skin. So the less you peel off the better. There is the red in a red onion (to me it is actually purple, but whatever) and the yellow in a yellow onion. The white has flavonoids too, but not as many as the red.
According to PubMed, study was done that concluded the consumption of onions had a “beneficial effect on bone density in perimenopausal and postmenopausal non-Hispanic white women 50 years and older.” Wow. So it could be that eating onions helps with bone density . . . who would have thought.
Onions should not be refrigerated, except for the green ones (scallions). We keep our onions in the fridge. I should change that.
To me, onions are good in pretty much any type of savory dish. I don’t think onions go to well with sweet things, but sometimes it works, but usually the onion needs to be a sweet onion or a red onion. My husband does not mind onions with his sweet.
The following nutritional information is from the National Onion Association’s website:
Onion Nutrition Facts
Serving Size 1 cup (160g) The Percent (%) is for the Daily Values*
*Percent (%) Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your Daily Values may be higher or lower depending on your calorie needs.
Calories 64 3%
Total Carbs 14.9 g 5%
Total Fat 0 0%
Cholesterol 0 0%
Dietary Fiber 2.7 g 11%
Sugars 6.8 g
Protein 4.9 g
Vitamin A 3.2 IU 0%
Vitamin C 11.8 mg 20%
Vitamin B6 0.2 mg 10%
Folate 30.4 mcg 8%
Calcium 36.8 mg 4%
Iron .3 mg 2%
Magnesium 16 mg 4%
Phosphorus 46.4 mg 5%
Potassium 234 mg 7%
Sodium 6.4 0%
Many people have strong feelings about onions. They either LOVE them or HATE them. Where do you stand? Do you love them? Do you hate them? Do you like them cooked? Do you like them raw? Did you know they had such great health benefits?
Posted in Food | Tagged: anti-inflammatory, antioxidants, bone density, cancer fighting, flavonoids, green beans, green onions, health benefits, National Onion Association, onions, red onions, sweet onions, walnuts, white onions, yellow onions | 7 Comments »
Posted by terrepruitt on August 27, 2013
There are a lot of things I like about yoga, one thing that I really like is that many of the asanas or poses are executed with a lengthening of the spine. In many poses the idea is to reach with the top of your head, or the crown of your head, in the opposite direction of your tailbone. Often the cue is to reach with the crown of your head to the sky while reaching with your tailbone into the earth. I feel as if the reaching and stretching in the opposite directions really help the body be taller.
While standing, sitting, bending the motion or action is to reach. Reach in opposite directions. Create space in between each vertebra. While consciously stretching the backbone, you are pulling your shoulders back and down. Create a long neck by reaching. Push the shoulders away from the ears. The ribs lift upwards, and off and away from the hips.
One motion or thought to help straighten and lengthen is to extend your sternum skyward. This somewhat juts the chest out and the shoulder automatically go back and down. With this as an image there might be some adjusting that needs to take place, but it can help move you in the right direction. With the lengthening of the spine comes the separating of the ribs. Allowing space in between each rib can sometimes help increase lung capacity. If your lungs have more room to move in they might expand further. This all lending to bigger, deeper breaths.
In the Gentle Yoga class I am currently teaching I am continually reminding the students to lengthen their spine. I, myself, have a habit of scrunching. I think I have mentioned this before. I both scrunch my shoulders up to my ears and round my back. I liken my posture to that of a spoon. So it is very easy for me to fall into that even while I am leading a class because I begin to shift my concentration. So the reminder is for all of us. A reminder is nice because then you can check to make certain you are doing all the things involved in lengthening the spine. Although sometimes I feel a bit repetitive, I think it is worth it. In addition to myself I usually see at least one participant make an adjustment.
In Nia while we might not always be lengthening and reaching with our spine throughout an entire routine there is often at least a moment. If not in one of the dances itself in the cool down or the floorplay. I often include imaging space in between each vertebra as we sit or bend over in a stretch. The Nia routing might not include yoga poses by the idea of it is included. Part of the yoga inclusion “is the conscious alignment of bones and joints”* While lengthening the spine we are lining up the bones and the joints. Our posture is intact.
I really enjoy the growing taller sensation that yoga can offer through a variety of asanas where we are reaching and lengthening. To me it makes for a taller me.
Do you sense you are taller after doing yoga? Do you sense your spine is more straight after yoga? Do you do a pose that really has you feeling you are taller after?
*The Nia Technique, page 276. A yoga focus.
Posted in Nia, Yoga/PiYo/Pilates | Tagged: asanas, crown of the head, gentle yoga, lengthening of the spine, Nia, Nia class, Nia Dance, Nia floorplay, Nia routine, Nia Teacher, Yoga, yoga poses, yoga posture | 14 Comments »
Posted by terrepruitt on August 24, 2013
I have mentioned before that I have fantastic Nia students. Well, I also have fabulous students in my gentle yoga class. When I posted about green beans being the only beans I like, except garbanzo beans in a couple of recipes, one of my students commented asking if I liked hummus. Turns out she just made some with sweet potato. I asked if she wanted to guest post or give me the recipe so that I could post it. Just as I say about recipes she used the original recipe as a guide and made it her own. She gave me kinda what she did (pictured). In addition to bringing me the recipe she actually brought me some hummus. In a little baggie! So cute. So sweet of her. It was a perfect addition to our dinner that night because I hadn’t really planned a well-rounded meal since I spent a good portion of the day at the vet’s office with my cat. You know that all medications have side effects and one of hers had a big one so we are now on a different plan on how to handle her issue in order to deal with the issue that came up as a side effect. I had my very first Thursday morning Nia class that will be Thursdays at 8:30 am the same day. So being at the vet for hours then coming home and having to get some stuff done before having to leave for Gentle Yoga didn’t leave me time to think about dinner in detail. So having the sweet potato hummus to serve with a raw bell pepper helped a lot. And it was delicious. I modified it only by roasting the sweet potatoes and adding more water.
Hummus With Sweet Potato:
Ingredients (pictured)
1 cup peeled and chopped up roasted sweet potato* (I measured it AFTER I roasted it)
1 can garbanzo beans, rinsed and drained
1/4 cup fresh squeezed lemon juice
1/3 cup Tahini
7 garlic cloves, roasted (or raw)**
1 tbsp olive oil
1/2 tsp cumin
1 tsp salt
1/4 cup water (not pictured)
Peel and chop a sweet potato. Roast it in the oven (at about 450° F with garlic salt and olive oil). Until it is cooked to your liking.***
Put all ingredients in the blender or food processor and pulse until smooth.**** You can start with less water than 1/4 cup and add as you see fit.*****
________________________________
Recipe notes
*I measured the sweet potato AFTER I roasted it
**I used roasted garlic
***I roasted the sweet potato less than I would have if I were eating it
****I don’t have a food processor, I used my blender and I had to scrape and pulse quite a lot. I did not drizzle with oil or sprinkle with paprika.
*****I will use the “bean water” next time. (I forgot that I needed water at all otherwise I would have saved the bean water to use.)
________________________________
As you can see there are two different colored spreads in the picture. I think we might have used different colored sweet potatoes because I can’t imagine a sprinkle of paprika or her + of cumin would change the color that much. Can you?
Either way they both were delicious. Hers was more sweet. Again not sure if it is because of different potatoes or not. Could be the roasting.
Either way . . . this recipe is just a guide. A place to start. Something to look at to say, “Ok, someone has put sweet potato in a hummus and they thought it was good, now what can I do to make it my own?”
Right? So . . . . go make it and report back! 🙂
Posted in "Recipes", Food | Tagged: cat medications, cumin, Garbanzo beans, gentle yoga students, hummus, Nia, Nia class, Nia students, olive oil, paprika, roasted garlic, sick cat, side effects of medication, sweet potato, tahini, Yoga | 10 Comments »
Posted by terrepruitt on August 23, 2013
I did it again. I forgot to post a check in last week. Ya see our cat has been sick. Last week she was so sick I thought we were facing putting her to sleep. I was so sad I wrote a post about it. I felt as if I was going to have to Kill My Best Friend. The first thing I wanted to do Friday morning was call the vet to get an appointment. I had been communicating via e-mail with one of the vets and she mentioned a “re-check”. So first thing I did before I even got out of bed on Friday was call the vet. They had an 8:30 am appointment. Which to me translated to coffee and go. I didn’t get to finish my coffee before I had to go.
Anyway . . . the trip to the vet was very much worth it because they gave the cat a vitamin B12 shot. Apparently this is like the miracle vitamin (not really, but) it really helped the cat a lot. PLUS the vet said that even though she looked really skinny and IS really skinny she is not yet at death’s door, as her father and I thought. So . . . I came home and was busy doing other things and I forgot to post my check in.
So here I am calling this #28 because I am only counting them as I do ’em. And now the cat has other issues. Anytime you administer drugs there is a chance of other issues arising. That is why I like to try other avenues and other things before resorting to medication. While it might help mask some symptoms it usually bring up other ones. Crazy. But there are still many things that are good. And that is one reason to have a good things jar. It is to help remind us that even where there are things going on that are sad there are still GOOD THINGS!
One of the things I put in my jar is Walking the Labyrinth. And, of course that our kitty is better than she was earlier in the week.
How about you? Did you add to your jar?
Posted in Good Things in the Goodie Jar | Tagged: Goodie Jar – Check In #28, Killing My Best Friend, Labyrinth, sick cat, vet, Vitamin B12, walking the labyrinth | 4 Comments »
Posted by terrepruitt on August 22, 2013
Walnuts are awesome. As you may have read in some of my other posts, my hubby doesn’t really like walnuts. I find that fact rather funny because he likes pretty much everything, but he is not fond of walnuts. One day I had a bag of pecans on the table and I was having some for dessert. He grabbed a couple and ate them. As he was eating them he looked at me and said something like, “What? These are so good. Why did I not know these are so delicious? I am amazed!” I actually laughed at his reaction to them because pecans really are very yummy. They are rich and slightly sweet and he didn’t know the joy. Walnuts are different and he doesn’t care for them. I think walnuts are awesome. The thing I like about nuts is they can be used in sweet or savory dishes, or even eaten by themselves. Walnuts are a bit harder than pecans. Pecans almost feel stale or old because they are kind of soft. Walnuts are hard and they are not as rich, but they are very good and good for you.
Walnuts have Omega 3 fatty acids in them. You might have heard that Omega 3 fat is the fat that we need to consume. Research has indicated that we don’t eat enough of it AND that it is a helpful and healthful fat.
My research has uncovered 1 ounce / roughly 28 grams has
190 calories
4 grams of protein
18 grams of total fat (1.5 grams of saturated fat and 2.5 grams of monounsaturated fat and 13 grams of polyunsaturated fat)
4 grams of carbohydrates
2 grams of fiber
28 mg of calcium
.82 mg of iron
125 mg of potassium
11 grams of Linoleic acid
2.5 grams of Linolenic acid
The Linoleic acid is the Omega 3 essential fatty acids. And it is the Omega 3 that we want. Omega 3 is considered an anti-inflammatory. As I have mentioned in numerous other posts, anti-inflammatory foods are a welcome part of a healthy diet. With more and more research pointing to the association between chronic inflammation in the body and disease, it is a good idea to consume foods with an anti-inflammatory effect.
According to the World’s Healthiest Foods site: Research has shown walnuts to help with cardiovascular health.
They have been shown to decrease LDL cholesterol, decrease total cholesterol, and increase omega-3 fatty acids in red blood cells. Also decrease the risk of excessive clotting and excessive inflammation.
For me, as I mentioned they can be eaten in savory dishes, like with green beans (click here for a green been recipe) or in sweets. I like to put walnuts in my banana bread, but I don’t because John doesn’t like them and I primarily make the bread for him. But I do put them in the Banana Oatmeal Walnut Cookies (click here for that recipe). He actually is ok with them in the green beans and the cookies. I also think they are a great snack or dessert.
Do you like walnuts? How do you like to eat them?
Posted in Food | Tagged: anti-inflammatory, banana bread, Banana Oatmeal Walnut Cookies, cholesterol, dessert, excessive inflammation, green beans, Omega 3, pecans, sweet or savory, walnuts, World's Healthiest Foods | 6 Comments »
Posted by terrepruitt on August 20, 2013
I recently received green beans in the organic produce box we get. I made Green Beans, Walnuts, and Onions. LOVE THAT. So this past weekend I bought some green beans at our Farmers Market. I plan to make that again. It is so good. My husband even mentioned after I made it that he doesn’t care for green beans nor walnuts, but he loves that . . . what did I tell you? I like green beans. I don’t make them often because . . . well, you know. Sometimes, if I am not making the previously mentioned recipe, it is probably because I don’t have walnuts, so I just sauté the green beans. I don’t typically boil vegetables. I just sauté them cooking them only slightly. I like them to still have crunch when I bite into them. I don’t like soggy beans. I cook them basically the same as if I am cooking them for the recipe. Green beans are good healthy vegetable.
Most vegetables lose some nutrients in the cooking process. Also for most vegetables the less they are cooked the better. According to several sources on the internet one cup (100 grams) of raw green beans yields:
31 calories
12.20 mg of Vitamin C
14.40 mcg of Vitamin K
690.00 IU of Vitamin A
0.14 mg of Vitamin B6
211.00 mg of potassium
2.70 g of Fiber
33.00 mcg of folate
37.00 mg of Calcium
1.83 g of protein
0.07 g of omega-3 fats
Green beans are a great source of anti-oxidants such as Vitamin C and Beta-carotene. In addition to the anti-oxidants; Vitamin C and Beta-carotene, the rich color of green beans provide phytonutrients like carotenoids, another anti-oxidant. As a reminder antioxidants help the body reduce the inflammation. More and more studies are linking disease with chronic inflammation. You know my theory . . . food that can help our body reduce inflammation is something we want to add to our diet.
Green beans can be eaten raw. Just munch on them like you would a carrot or a slice of bell pepper. Green beans also make a great addition to a salad. Cut them up and throw them in a green salad or a pasta. I love vegetables that can be eaten cooked or raw. When they can be eaten both ways it is almost as if they will be eaten more often because of the variety in which they can be eaten. I would eat them a lot more if my husband liked them. I don’t really like to make him eat stuff he doesn’t like even though it is good for him.
It really is funny because these used to be the only kind of beans I like. Now I somewhat like garbanzo beans, and I eat kidney beans in certain recipes like my bean salad or red beans and rice (For Bean Salad recipe click here / For Red Beans and Rice recipe click here).
So do you like green beans? Do you like to eat them raw? How do you like to cook them? Have you tried the Green Beans, Walnuts, and Onions?
Posted in Food, Vegetables | Tagged: anti-inflammatory, anti-oxidants, boil vegetables, box of produce delivered, Garbanzo beans, green beans, onions, organic produce, phytonutrients, Red Beans and Rice, walnuts | 2 Comments »
Posted by terrepruitt on August 17, 2013
In 
Greek mythology, the Labyrinth was an elaborate structure so cunningly designed and built that he who did so barely escaped it after he built it . . . .so sayeth Wiki. If that were the case, to me it sounds more like it was a maze then what I know to be a labyrinth. Seems as if there are some typical patterns of labyrinths. There are Medieval labyrinth patterns, Classical Labyrinth patterns, Christian Labyrinth patterns, etc. Seems like they are found in many cultures and places. As I mention in my post about my first Sound Healing and Labyrinth Walk, the walk you take on a labyrinth is your own. It is your own quiet time. The time could be a meditation, could be a prayer, a time for you to give gratitude, a time for reflection, a time for planning, a time for a good ol’ heart to heart with yourself. You could be reciting a poem or signing a song . . . . whatever it is it is what you want to do. Walking the labyrinth is what you make it.
The walk could be a mental journey, an emotional journey, or a spiritual journey. While I am walking I like to add in a bit of physicality. Of course, I am walking the pattern, but as I go in addition to whatever it is I am doing either mentally, emotionally, or spiritually I like to move in different ways. At times I might concentrate on my feet, careful to roll through my ENTIRE foot. Mindful of the outer edges of my feet. I like to walk on my toes. I like to take a few feet side-stepping. I shuffle, I walk backwards. I face outward and inward. I take huge steps. And there are some moments when I take teeny tiny steps. I crouch low and stand tall. I also stop. The walks I have been on include Crystal Singing Bowls, so there are times when I stop to sense the songs. When I am not moving I can better feel the vibration of the bowls. Whatever I am thinking about and reflecting on and however I am moving I do it in silence. If you know me, I am not often quite. I did not speak for almost two hours today. Normally I am bursting with words, but today, I realized I was fine being silent.
The labyrinth we walk for these events has a placard that says the labyrinth is an ancient symbol for the spiritual journey. It also explains that some think labyrinths were used to teach stone masonry and mathematics, while others say it was used in place of people actually having to travel to Jerusalem for a Pilgrimage. It further explains that the one we walk is based on the medieval labyrinth that is in the floor of the Chartres Cathedral outside of Paris, France.
The speed in which you walk is your own. Of course, it is best to be respectful of the others walking it too. No tailgating or rudely passing. I had thought this labyrinth had an in and an out, but the path out is the same as the path in.
I had a great walk. It was nice to stroll the pattern and contemplate things.
It was also so, so, so great to witness the singing bowls again. After the walk Cecilia let me hold every single one of her bowls and I sensed the different vibrations. It is amazing the different energy and power that comes from each different bowl. Just amazing. I am so very grateful that she and Jessica share their beautiful bowls and energy with us.
While I don’t know when the next Sound Healing and Labyrinth Walk will be, one of the women who shares her bowl’s singing with us is planning to start a once-monthly Sound Healing/Meditation gathering on the fourth Sunday of each month. As soon as I get details I will share. While it will not include a labyrinth walk I am certain it will be fun.
If you every have the opportunity to walk a labyrinth I strongly encourage you to do so. Before you begin pick something to focus then open your heart and take that first step. I have faith that you will not regret it and you will find it to be time well spent.
Have you ever walked a labyrinth? Where? What was it made of?
Posted in Misc | Tagged: Christian Labyrinth, Classical Labyrinth, elaborate structure, give gratitude, Greek mythology, heart to heart, Labyrinth, Medieval labyrinth, meditation, once-monthly Sound Healing/Meditation gathering, prayer, signing bowls, singing bowls, Sound Healing and Labyrinth Walk, spiritual journey, time for planning, time for reflection, Wiki | 4 Comments »
Posted by terrepruitt on August 15, 2013
When I was young I thought you could only have one best friend. Made sense to me that you have a friend that is the BEST. Only ONE can be the BEST. You can only have one. One. Best. Friend. As I got older I realized you could have more than one best friend. Each friend could be best at something or you could have a best friend who is best at everything but the title of best friend is not regulated to one. So now as an adult I am very blessed to have more than one friend that is best. I have a few best friends. And now sadly, heartbreakingly, I might have to kill one of my best friends.
How how can I do that? How do you kill your best friend? Some say it’s humane, it’s the right thing to do. But if it is the right thing to do why does it feel so wrong? When I hear the turmoil in her tummy, I think, “Poor girl.” When she has very bad litter box trips, I think that’s really no way to live. But when I look in her eyes and ask her if she’s ready to go I don’t think they are saying she is ready. When she lies by the open door and she is so still I think she is near death or already dead, then there is the tiniest noise outside and she jumps up to sitting position to see what it is, I don’t think it is right.
How do you kill your best friend? It might be different if there were words and they were asking. But to make the decision to decide my best friend would be better off dead – gone forever – how? How can I kill my best friend?
My heart has always broken for those who were faced with that decision and did it. I have always believed them to be so strong . . . . because I always knew I wouldn’t be. She is a cat and I have different beliefs regarding animals, than I do people. I believe many people I will see again, but I was taught I would not see my pets again. I somewhat feel their death is permanent, whereas people are passing onto another place. (And by somewhat, I have come up with an idea, but that is for another post.) While I miss the people who have died I have steady faith that I will be with them again . . . but a cat? A dog? A rabbit? A bird? And to be the one RESPONSIBLE for having ended that life. Being the one to make my best friend go away FOREVER.
I just realized today that I have the most simplistic goal for life: I want to wear a hole in my cat’s head from kisses. I want to at least make a bald spot. If she is gone, I won’t be able to complete that goal. This post is taking a long time to write because I keep going downstairs to work on that goal. Or at least check on her. I put a mirror behind the TV where she has been lying lately. That way I can see if she is there before I get all the way down the stairs. Then I stare unblinkingly the entire time I am walking down the stairs towards her — I want to see if she is breathing. If I don’t see her reflection in the mirror then I know to start my search elsewhere. The picture in this post is from the stairs, the ceiling is in the frame up at the top along with the dining room light fixture in the upper right. I only have to go down a few stairs to check on her.
I know this post and all my post about our cat aren’t fitness related. But they are health and wellness related; this is me releasing some of my heartache in hopes that it will help get me through. Don’t know what tomorrow will bring . . . . but I know that I am not ready to kill my best friend. I hope it does not come to that. But (sigh), I hope that if, or more probable — when the time comes I will be as strong and able as many, many of you have been. For now, this is the stage I am in. This is how I feel. I am not ready to throw in the towel and give up on her.
We are going to begin a new treatment shortly (as soon as it arrives – which will hopefully be VERY soon) and maybe that will allow us to see some progress. We will see. This is me sharing. Thanks for listening.
Posted in Misc | Tagged: best friend, euthanasia, heartbreak, sick cat, Spot | 6 Comments »
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